I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
