Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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