I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
