And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
