Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
whose parrot is this?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
