I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
