Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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