Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I looked at my own cervix.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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