I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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