So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
