Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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