watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
why do cheetos always look like penises
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
