i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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