don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
