Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
