Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
