Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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