how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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