Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
