been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My vagina just clenched in fear
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
