There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We talked him into tasing himself.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
