He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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