Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
