...so i touched it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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