Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
