'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
