i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
