I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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