the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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