dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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