i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
