3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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