To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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