My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
