I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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