That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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