Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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