Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
