some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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