If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
