the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
