I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
