How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
