She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
