I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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