HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
