next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
