i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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