Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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