I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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