going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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