Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
