I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
