Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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