Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
