why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
