sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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