we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
